Last month Michelle did an awesome post on “How Do You Say I’m Sorry” to a client when you make a mistake, and provided some great guidance as to how to manage that relationship when you goof up (or even when it’s not your mistake but your client is unhappy).  As I am also a Wedding Planner, I have definitely made my fair share of mistakes with clients – and also – with wedding pros.  I see my relationships with my colleagues just as important as my rapport with clients.  So, today I want to focus on “How Do You Say I’m Sorry” to your colleagues, but most importantly how do you “Own Up” to your mistakes and how do you make up for them.

What is an Example of Passing the Buck?

I am seeing alot of the “passing the buck” going on with wedding pros.  Example – say a Caterer ordered linens for your client and on the day of the wedding they are 2 short.  They say “you told us 15 total linens for the guest tables, not 20” but you are positive that you gave them a quantity of 20.  Instead of the Caterer saying “no problem at all, we’ll do whatever it takes to make sure we find 5 extra linens for you” they say “well, you’ll have to find 5 extra linens because this is all we have”.  They pass the buck.  Instead of being a team player, helping the Wedding Planner out…they instead wash their hands of the situation and basiclly are saying that it’s the Planner’s problem.  I’m sorry, but I am immediately thinking “wow, I’m not going to be referring this Caterer ever again because they aren’t a team player and are only concerned about themselves.”

The other huge problem with this scenario is that one person’s mistake, and inability to help problem solve as a team member, is that it doesn’t just impact the Wedding Planner.  It impacts the Florist because they cannot set the tables as planned and need to wait on the 5 linens.  It impacts the Venue Coordinator or Planner who is waiting on placing favors on those tables, menus, etc.  Sometimes mistakes like this can also cause a financial impact on your colleagues – that Florist or Planner my have hired staff to help set-up and now that they have to wait on the 5 linens, it’s going to cost them extra to keep their staff onsite until the linen situation is fixed.  All this to say, one mistake that isn’t “owned up to” can cause a huge trickle down effect and impact alot of people.  Not to mention, the business who doesn’t own up to their mistakes is putting their brand at risk – big time.

What Can You Do to Fix a Mistake?

If you are the one who caused a mistake as a wedding pro, you CAN fix the problem.  Here are a few tips that I recommend (and that I personally do when I make a mistake):

1.  Apologize:  Be genuine as you communicate your apology.  People can tell if you say “I’m sorry” but don’t really mean it (alot of it is your tone of voice).  So be sure to really try and communicate to that wedding pro that you are genuinely sorry you caused them a headache.

2.  Do Something to Make Up for It:  If you know you made a mistake or even if you can sense your colleague is the least bit unhappy, do something about it.  You have just lost their trust, and it’s important to show them you’re truly sorry and want to make up for it (especially if you cost them time or $).  Being timely about this is also critical – you don’t want to wait 6 months after your mistake to do something about it.  Show your colleague that you want to regain their trust and confidence in you immediately.  Here are some ideas for things you can do:

  • Send them a gift card with a hand-written note:  A $25 gift card to Starbucks and a hand-written note goes a long way.  Apologize for the miss on your part, that you value your relationship with that colleague, and want them to you know you are so sorry it cost them time and/or $.
  • Buy a nice bouquet from one of your Florist friends and have it delivered to the wedding pro you need to apologize to.  This will show them you care and really want to make up for your error.
  • Send them an Amex Gift Card that they can use anywhere equivalent to the estimated cost of the error (ie – if you know it caused their team 2 extra hours of work, send them $50)

The Moral of the Story?

I once got a call from a Photographer who was waiting for me at a restaurant we were supposed to be meeting at to discuss business (I had never met with him before).  I was going through a family emergency at the time, so I was really out of it and completely missed the meeting.  My heart sunk.  I’ve NEVER missed a meeting until then and I felt so bad that I wasted his time to drive to the restaurant, wait for me, and then have me not show.  What a terrible first impression!  I wanted to show him that this was NOT my character and that this was a huge mistake on my part.  I immediately mailed him a note profusely apologizing along with a Starbucks gift card.  To this day, this Photographer is one of our most trusted colleagues, we’ve worked together a bunch, and we have a great rapport.

So…PLEASE own up to your mistakes, don’t pass the buck, and think about how you can immediately make the situation right with your colleagues…you CAN regain their trust!