Balancing work with marriage. How the heck does one balance both, and do both really well? I’m not a marriage expert by ANY stretch of the imagination, but I can say that I’ve learned alot in the past 6 years I’ve been married to my husband, Chris. Today I just wanted to bring up the subject and ask you a few questions.
First, a little background on me – it’s been a wild ride becoming an Entreprenuer in the Wedding Industry – I started out 12 years ago as a day-of coordinator at a church in Seattle and in 2007 was finally able to launch my event planning business, Sweet Pea Events, full-time. I then joined Michelle as co-owner of Sage Wedding Pros in 2009, as I’m passionate about the business side of our industry and have a background in Human Resources. This entire ride, my husband has always been my biggest fan and I’ve been so grateful to have his support and encouragement when I’ve wanted to throw in the towel.
There have been times (and quite honestly still are times), however, where I have completely put my business plans and my own plans above my marriage. You know…the weeks where every single night I am working until 1 am on proposals, design boards, budgets, putting favors together…making no time even for a 10 minute conversation with my spouse.
This is not ok.
So, as we are entering busy season (for most of us), I just wanted to challenge everyone, including myself, with a few questions:
1. Are you spending your free time working on/in your biz? If you’re like me, you could spend all day/every minute of the day working on your business (and you may be currently doing this). If you’re feeling caught in this trap, it’s so important to take a step back and BE with your spouse. Even if it’s for 15 minutes to listen to how their day was – step away from your computer, put your phone away…business can wait. Your marriage needs attention.
2. Do you treat your clients like you do your spouse? I wish I could say that I do all the time, but quite frankly I don’t. I could give my clients all the attention in the world, treat them like royalty, and BE there for them at the drop of a hat. Do I always give my husband all the attention, treat him like royalty, and drop everything for him? Not always. This is something I’m continuing to work on, and something that I think is critical to a marriage. Why should we treat our spouses any different than our clients?
3. When is the last time you went on a date? If you don’t plan for something, it won’t happen. Half the time my husband and I don’t go on dates because we don’t plan them in advance. Life gets crazy, meetings get planned, many of my weekends are spent working (when my husband has the weekends off), our kid gets sick…and then it’s 3 months later and we’re tired, in a rut, and wondering why we are burned out on life and marriage can feel boring. Well…usually it’s because we haven’t spent time 1:1, doing something totally fun together. If all you do is work and don’t set aside time for dates, I promise you that you’re going to see your marriage start to feel stagnant. Try to make it a goal even to plan a date once/month so that you get out, spend quality time together, and focus on what’s most important – your family, your marriage.
Like I said, I am not even close to mastering the art of balancing work with being a spouse – but I do know that it takes time, attention, and planning/effort – especially when you’re in the Wedding Industry (a highly demanding field), to make a marriage successful.
What have you found that helps you to balance work and marriage?