No. It’s such a simple word. Yet, we are so afraid to use it. Why? I think there are many reasons which I’ll address today. My hope is for you to use this word “NO” much more in 2011. Being able to say “no” opens you up to say “yes” to many more things. It gives you the ability to prioritize for your business and personal life. It gives you balance. It gives you strength. It gives you opportunity.
Fear of “NO” #1: Fear of not servicing the client
We are pleasers is in this industry. For many of us, it’s the reason we are wedding planners, invite designers, photographers, and so on. We want to take care of people’s needs. (“I saw a need in the wedding industry for XYZ and I wanted to fulfill it.”) Our businesses are often founded on this premise of fulfilling other people’s desires and dreams. And, we often say “yes” to too many things. We say “yes” to some RIDICULOUS things because we want to do a “good job”. We want the gold star on our chart.
Fear of “NO” #2: Fear of being mean
We are nice people. We want people to know that we are nice. We don’t want anyone to think any less of us. We want to be liked by everyone. We are scare of “no” because if we use it we are not being nice.
Fear of “NO” #3: Fear of losing the sale
We are scared of losing sales and losing business by saying “no”. If we do not say yes to everything and everyone we may just lose a sale. And, everything is riding on that sale. We are in a bad economy and we need every penny that comes through that door. And, until then we are “yes” men and women.
HERE’s THE TRUTH…
We need to say “no”…
… to answering email at 11:30pm. (We need to set boundaries for our business.)
… to doing things that are not our specialty. (It’s best to communicate our specialty, our niche, or we risk being the “jack of all trades and the master of none.)
… when we are being asked to do RIDICULOUS thing for which we are not being paid. (I’ve heard one too many stories of wedding planners volunteering to hand address and mail wedding invites “just because”.)
… to people who do not respect us as business owners. (It’s just not worth it.)
… to doing things for free. (You will be out of business soon.)
… to other wedding vendors who take advantage of our skills and want a “freebie”. (You will end up being the wedding pro who gives away the farm to the industry.)
… to feeling like we need to be everywhere at all times. (Burnout is real.)
What else? What do you need to say no to?
This is a really important topic to discuss… I am fairly new to the wedding planning business and My first three weddings I booked we’re free as a promotional thing and mainly to get some experience under my belt, at the same time thinking that if I had a mess up it would be more understandable since I wasnt charging them. Long story short, this is NOT a good idea. before i knew it i had TONS of people asking for free services and I had brides that booked the free events trying to ask fro free services for their friends…. (big mess!) The truth is i finally stood up, and told them, unless you want o pay me please just dont even ask. I am not Circleville’s free wedding planner and i didnt pay for school to service the entire city of circleville for free. The power of NO worked. And since then it has made my business have a better reputation. Thanks for posting this Michelle.
Would love to read more about this topic! In particular, the question I have: how do you follow up the “no” and make it into a positive experience? Coming to the realisation that I do not need to accept every single project (business or personal), I have asserted my “no” saying more regularly this year – to projects, to overextending myself, to people and, dare I say it, to clients who I feel are not a good match and/or will most likely end up making me feel bad about myself and what I do. I also try to explain my “no” in these situations in order to make it a less negative experience for the other person – nothing personal, it’s just that this is not going to work out. But what happens though when the recipient of the “no” reacts badly to your “no” and makes you second guess yourself and your resolution? Any tips for sticking to your “no” guns?
This came at a perfect time, I am a wedding planner and I have a client who questions every vendor and make requests that are over the top – as you said I want to make them happy but not at the expense of my vendors and myself. I’m struggling right now, do I ask vendors to bend or just say “NO” to the client. I think as professionals we all know when the line is being crossed but are reluctant to just stand our ground.
How do you say NO without guilt or without second guessing your response?