How We Limit Ourselves and Others
The always-insightful Seth Godin recently wrote about NOT accepting limits. His idea is that we often write others off because we look at where they are at, not at what they could become. This post made me look internally: how often to I limit myself? It’s usually subconsciously out of fear. And, this post made me look externally: how many times do we limit those in the wedding industry? We place judgment on the little we know about their abilities.
Limiting Ourselves – Internally
Last week, I watched tweets among Liene Stevens of Think Splendid and others that talked about people placing limitations on themselves. She tweeted, “The line ‘that won’t work in my market’ is usually just an excuse to not try something outside of one’s comfort zone.” Ah yes! I’ve heard this time and time again. I had a chat last year with a planner in the northwest who wanted to focus on luxury design as her specialty. Yes, the northwest does typically have more casual and low-key weddings with smaller budgets. But, that’s not everyone. There are very few wedding pros who focus specifically on design in that market. My thought: “You are not challenged by geography. This is an opportunity for you to do something huge in the Northwest. You have an opportunity to educate and inspire consumers in the market! You can create this in the Northwest.”
We all do this to ourselves. I’ve done it time and time again in my own business. I look back and see things that could have happened much faster if I would have acted without limiting myself so much. Our limitations are created by a lack of confidence. Be confident in your ability. The possibilities are ENDLESS!
Limiting Others – Externally
There has been so much talk about the “newbie” wedding planner these days. (And, if you’re a photographer, you’re talking about the “novice” photog… if you’re an invite designer, the “etsy” stationer… and so on.) This post on SpecialEvents.com introduced a good perspective on the effects of “newbies” to the industry.
In a weak economy, it’s natural that people are going to start new businesses as a means for survival. Either they have become unemployed or need additional income to cover their massive re-adjusted mortgages. With technology, there is very little barrier to entry in almost any field. All you need is a good computer, a desk, a phone. If you’re a photographer, all you need is a camera. If you’re invite designer, all you need is a website, design software and a printer. (Once we’ve been in biz a while, we know you need a LOT more… but these are the initial start-up needs.)
But Seth’s post introduced an interesting perspective on something very relevant to the wedding industry. It made me wonder… Why are we limiting the “new” people? We know nothing of their ability, their experience, their insight, and their potential. I think we make a big mistake in placing these limitations. For one, we under-estimate the impact that new people can make on creating trends in the industry. If we don’t watch out, we could be left in the wind. We risk becoming complacent. Also, having come from the “corporate world”, I’ve observed what “new blood” does to a company. The same can be said of our industry. New people can introduce a fresh perspective and new talents that can help improve our industry. Lastly, there are poor business practices in our industry that are being done by experienced pros as often as they are done by new ones. Poor business models exist at all levels of experience.
Oh sure, they’ll make all the “new business” mistakes we all did. Hey, I priced too low. I paid for ads that didn’t yield anything. I promised customers the world for $0.01/hour pay. Back in the olden time of 2004, thank god I didn’t have twitter to tell me every day that my sad little invite company was going to make it because I didn’t have any training in art. I only had my internal chatter with which to contend.
Bringing down the walls…
So, what do we do? First, we need to stop limiting ourselves and others. We all hold great potential. We need to maximize it and find the opportunity.
Those of use with experience HAVE to TEACH. And those of us that are new, HAVE to LEARN. (And, vice versa. The “old” can learn from the “new” also. God knows I had know idea what tokbox was, until Kate Miller introduced me to it!) There is only one way that people are going to learn how to price their services appropriately: EDUCATION. There is only one way to elevate the industry and it’s to create sustainable business. I firmly believe that businesses are subjected to Darwin’s theory: only the fittest will survive.
There are so many great educational opportunities in our industry! If you are new, take advantage of some of these great resources:
- The Simple Plan, Business Planning for Wedding Pros
- Saundra Hadley, Sales Coaching for Event Pros
- Sasha Souza’s Team I Do, Business Coaching for Event Planners
- The Engage Conference, Luxury Wedding Seminar
- Outstanding Occasions, Mentoring for Wedding Planners
- Eventology, Wedding Conference
- Think Splendid, Social Media Consultancy
- The Business of Being Creative, Business Coaching
- Aspire to Plan, Coaching for Wedding Planners
- Lara Casey Reps, Branding and Marketing Consultancy
- Many MANY others
If you are experienced, find someone in your area to mentor.
There are no limits. Stop living your life and running your business as if there are.
Beautifully beautifully said. And with that – as a planner or photographer, you too were once the newbie. Everyone has to be there at some point. So why in the world look down upon them. The wedding world needed this post, badly. Thank you Michelle!
Very well said! I’m one of the relative newbies in the industry (after many years in the corporate world, I’m officiating weddings out of a passion for doing so). And I have been thanked many times recently by the longer-term folks – some fellow officiants, but mostly other types of wedding vendors – for bringing in fresh ideas and a fresh energy and passion that they had somewhat lost over the years.
I find it sad when very experienced wedding planners tell me that they already have the vendors they use, thank you very much. So sad, as you may not be introducing the right vendor to your bride/couple, if you’re not taking the time to see what else, and who else, is out there, and may have come out more recently. Thankfully, some of their couples find me and hire me anyway, and then those planners are surprised that there is a way of doing the ceremony that they haven’t already seen, and that people really enjoy – fancy that!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for this post. That article on specialevents.com really struck a cord with me and I’ve been thinking about it quite often. Yes, I am a newcomer into the event planning biz but that doesn’t mean I am completely unqualified! I come from years of non-profit event production and only recently discovered that my true passion lies in special events and weddings. I would have never known that if I hadn’t started planning my own wedding. When I do research I find that a lot of the pros have terrible websites, non-existent blogs and poor social networking skills. On the other hand, some of the younger folk are more tech savvy and can bring a fresh approach and outlook to the industry. Lessons can be learned in both directions. I am always looking for opportunities to learn and grow. I do feel that a lot of established folks are hesitant to share their advice and knowledge. I actually have learned a lot by working with vendors in OTHER fields (photography, invitation design, etc.) rather than just event planners.
Thanks for putting this out there! Love it, as always!
THANK YOU for this incredibly meaningful and necessary post! I’m really shocked at how much resistance there has been lately in our industry to new blood. Who cares how many wedding planners, photogs, or invitation designers pop up? If one is confident in their own talent and business, they’ll know that healthy competition can only drive us to do what WE do better. Focusing negative attention on other people’s businesses only distracts us from our own work, anyway 🙂 great reminder that every expert was once a newbie, themselves, too!
Let’s not give TokBox too much credit – it’s been pretty crappy for service lately! I’m hoping some new amazing-ness swoops in on the free videoconferencing market soon – or TokBox steps up their game! *Hint, Hint TokBox Market Researchers Reading this Post*
Nonetheless, I have gotten back many times over a vast resource of information from both you and Kelly. You ladies are amazing and so incredibly helpful – and I cannot WAIT for May’s Simple Plan in SF!
Well said! One area for newbies that is spreading in the wedding planning biz, is that the more experienced ones really seem to give them a hard time, and are not open to “meeting” new people. Their social media efforts are more of a clique and seem to make fun of others (whether justified or not) and come across snarky. Not sure if that’s their intentions, but among the newbies, this is a common opinion of many established planners. Hoping this will change, but it takes baby steps!
Old school mentality! Educate and you will prosper.Thanks for a great post. Partnerships in this industry are by far my biggest asset…is it yours too?
What a great and timely post Michelle! I just commented on Liene Stevens blog last week because I felt there was a lot of negativity swirling around about “newbies”.
The main point of my comment on her blog was that I understand that it can be frustrating to be in an industry that so many people have misconceptions about, but I also don’t think it’s fair to pass judgment on anyone (in ANY industry) until you’ve had the opportunity to get to know them.
Thanks so much for taking the time to discuss this subject!
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What an inspiring post, Michelle! And thank you for clearing up the misconception that just because we’re new to the business we are inept and have no potential. Everyone was “here” at one point. I am doing everything I can to get “there” as quickly and responsibly as possible 🙂
inspiring post!
Very well put, as always!
Michelle – I needed to see this article this week.
Thank you for your willingness to step out and shed some light on the “newbie” phenomenon that some have spoken about recently. I was becoming very frustrated at the perception that “all” new comers to the wedding industry were just looking to make a quick buck and inherently cheapening the industry.
Granted, there probably is some of THAT occuring, as with any industry, however what some may fail to understand is that there are those that are trying to be mindful and smart about the decisions we make. I have purposely been slow about taking new business; I have purposely been reaching out to credible and established vendors to develop my network and feel out the waters.
As luck would have it, the business I have booked for 2010 have been all REFERRALS. Not advertising. Not memberships to Chamber organizations. Not my website. But by building relationships; which to me is the #1 priority right now. It’s been my tenacity to establish credibility and respect with wedding vendors. It’s as if I am trying to prove myself to them first, and solicit business second. I am paying my respects to those who have paved the way however, respectfully ask those to keep an open mind about the “next generation”. Growing is good for business.
Which leads me to my last point: I am so excited to be working with Sage Wedding Pros! I am making the initial investment for the long-term committment. Learning from the experts (yes, that would be you!) and collaborating for a brighter future, for the both of us. 🙂
Best,
Heather
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